Fan CV

Stormy (Elodie Vidal)

2630 Hegal Place # 42 – Alexandria, VA 23242

(202)555-9355- missyspooky@gmail.com- Date of Birth: 06/03/92

PROFILE

Enthusiastic individual, thriving on obsession, and subscribing to a shipper philosophy.

KEY SKILLS

  • Outstanding screaming ability; flair for staring and stalking.
  • Capacity to queue for prolonged periods of time, even in unfavourable weather.
  • Proficiency with social networking platforms, including message boards, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and LiveJournal.

EDUCATION

HAVEN FOR THE FBI’S MOST UNWANTED

PhD in Lurking Arts

Skills gained:

  • News Collection: I browse the forums for updates on The X-Files cast, crew and third movie, without ever letting my presence known.
  • Theft: I right click, save as, rename, repost, without ever acknowledging the original poster.
  • Cynicism: I mock speculations, fights, and snogger comments, without ever joining conversations or debates, and shivering at the potential veracity of fan theories.

THE HOUSE OF DAVID DUCHOVNY

Master in Drooling Arts

Skills gained:

  • Observation: I dissect each new picture in detail, taking note of Mr Duchovny’s current weight, exercise regime, passion for the clothing brand Puma, and inability to colour-coordinate.
  • Appreciation: I highlight Mr Duchovny’s attractiveness, opening threads devoted to his smile and eyes, and often commenting on his lower lip and charm.

THE X-FILES ULTIMATE

Bachelor in Posting Arts

Skills gained:

  • Social Isolation: I became one of the top posters, writing in every forum (save the one devoted to John Doggett), uploading pictures and videos on a daily basis, and joining the Mulder Support Group.
  • Communication: I expressed admiration for Ms Anderson and Mr Duchovny through the exclusive use of four-letter words, onomatopoeia and emoticons.

EMPLOYMENT

JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN PREMIERE – London, UK

Gillian Anderson Fan on 2nd October 2011

Key Responsibilities:

  • Soaking in every aspect of Ms Anderson’s appearance, by staring at her without blinking and taking special note of her dress, shoes and hairstyle.
  • Obtaining Ms Anderson’s autograph by screaming her name, maintaining a front row position against the barriers, and discreetly shoving Rowan Atkinson fans aside.

Key Achievements:

  • Featured in the background of several professional photographs of the event, resulting in a high level of Getty Images fame.
  • Contributed to the taking of high quality photographs and to the capturing of unique footage immortalising Ms Anderson’s beauty and Mr. Griffiths’ social inadequateness.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING (PLAY) – London, UK

David Tennant Fan on 16th May and 30th August 2011

Key Responsibilities:

  • Soaking in every aspect of Mr Tennant’s performance and appearance, taking special note of his facial expressions and clothes, and communicating with him through our secret lovers’ code.
  • Expressing envy for Ms Tate’s pretty, pretty hair.

Key Achievements:

  • Received birthday wishes and the affectionate nickname “Missy” from Ms Tate, as well as an autographed program featuring a unique make-up smear.

A DOLL’S HOUSE (PLAY) – London, UK

Gillian Anderson Fan from 14th May to 18th July 2009

Key Responsibilities:

  • Soaking in all aspects of Ms Anderson’s performance and appearance, including accent fluctuations, line memorisation, blue eyes, pouty lips and cleavage.
  • Expressing eternal devotion to Ms Anderson/obtaining her autograph, by employing all means necessary to win a spot in the autograph queue, including leaving the play early, pushing fellow fans down the staircase, or pretending to be part of a group already behind the rope.

Key Achievements:

  • Received a genuine bitchface© from Ms Anderson when staring into her eyes.
  • Contributed to the taking of close up shots of Ms Anderson while in the crowd, allowing for an artistic rendition of her facial features.

Hobbies: Capping, quoting, squeeing, crying, fanfiction.

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