Oh my God. WANT.
Hey, easy now. What did you see?
Moleskine Game of Thrones notebooks! OSSUM!
Ok, this is not really the moment to be browsing. You’re not the customer here, remember?
It’ll only take a minute. Oh wow, the Baratheon one is so pretty, look at the leather!
Then take it with you and get back to work.
No, I want to make sure I pick the right house.
The right house?
Yeah, they have a different design for each of the four main houses: Lannister, Baratheon, Stark, and Targaryen.
Mm. That doesn’t sound familiar at all.
Oh, shut up.
« We give you more than just an appealing product, dear customers, we give you a life choice. Not only will this Game of Thrones notebook present you as an adjusted member of society in touch with your current popular culture, it will communicate your individuality to the world ! Go ahead, make a stand…which house are you ? »
You are so lame.
« And there’s more ! With this sleek product, you get to ostracize those who don’t know the difference between a Lannister, a Stark, a Targaryen and a Baratheon! Make them feel inadequate for not jumping on the HBO bandwagon ! »
Ok, stop it.
Have you chosen then ?
Yup. I’m getting the Targaryen one.
Because of Daenerys Targaryen ? Hellooo, fragile-looking woman sold as a bride lifts herself up to the rank of queen and leader of armies ? You know, All the women/ Who are independent/Throw your hands up at meee…
Fair enough, I guess.
Nothing, I just remembered something.
What’s that ?
Are you really sure you’re House Targaryen ?
I just told you. I respect what Daenerys represents.
Mm. ‘cause I seem to remember somebody who was convinced she was a Ravenclaw…
…until she went on the internet and found out she was a big fat Hufflepuff…
This is different.
…and got a bit of an inferiority complex as a result…
This is different. I don’t care about house Targaryen, it’s Daenerys I find amazing. She’s, like, a walking feminist statement.
Ok then. Get the Targaryen one and let’s go.
No, what is it ?
Nothing, it’s just…it has scales.
What, the notebook ?
The notebook has scales ?
Well, that’s because House Targaryen evokes dragons. It’s their sigil. The design has to be reptilian.
And you don’t like it ?
Not really, no. But that’s ok.
So you’re gonna buy a notebook you don’t like ?
Well, Daenerys is the Mother of Dragons. I can’t really have her without the dragons.
That’s ridiculous. Just get another one.
Yeah, you’re right. House Targaryen is not right for me. Daenerys might be super cool, but her brother sold her away in exchange for a few soldiers, and her father was nicknamed « the Mad King ».
But I thought you wanted the journal for Daenerys only…
I might as well buy one from another house. Not Lannister. Nooo. I will not be seen carrying an item that glorifies betrayal, murder, and incest, no matter how much I love Tyrion- he’s sooo cool.
You do know we don’t have all day, right ?
Should I get the Baratheon one ? It’s so pretty…look at the colour, and the rearing deer on the front. But are there even any Baratheons left ? Oh right, there’s what’s-his-face in Dragonstone…couldn’t care less.
How about that one ? You like werewolves.
That’s a direwolf. Meh. The Starks are so boring, with their good looks and their good intentions.
Ok, just get the Baratheon one then. You like it.
Well I like the notebook itself, but that’s not enough.
Oh for God’s sake, what do you mean « that’s not enough » ? You do know it’s just a TV show, right ?
Oh please. It’s not about the show.
What is it about then ?
It’s about not being the fucking stereotype of the girl who only buys things just because they’re pretty. The girl who can’t think, who’s only interested in what will make her look good. I’m not like that. If I’m gonna buy something, I’m gonna make it count.
…so you play brainless fan to evade sexist stereotypes ?
I’m not playing brainless fan.
Yes you are.
Oh come on, everyone plays these « Which House Are You » games. They’re all over the internet.
They might. But you take them seriously.
I’m not really taking them seriously…
I know. You just think that if you’re in the right house, people will have a better opinion of you.
Maybe. I don’t know.
Tell me one thing : do you like notebooks ?
Yes ! I have plenty at home.
Do you think collecting notebooks makes you shallow, or stupid ?
No. They’re nice. They make that light creaky noise when you open them, and they smell nice. I love the leather covers, they feel old, and safe. That’s why I like these, they all have leather covers, and I love this brown on the Baratheon one. I think I would have wanted to buy it even if it hadn’t been Game of Thrones-related.
Here we go. Get it then.